What Being Drunk Can Teach You About Life and Online Business

Admitting that I’m a bit drunk at the time of writing is probably not the most professional way of starting an article, ain’t it?

Okay, I’m not really drunk because it would be difficult to put some decent words together, but I am drinking beer just to get into the right mindset.

Nevertheless… “Funny thing alcohol is.” – as Master Yoda would have probably put it. We are all quite familiar with both good and bad effects of alcohol. And there’s a thin line between them, usually known as the third beer.

What all of this has to do with online business or life?

Well, when doing some marketing-related activities (or attempting to do them) we often encounter some obstacles. Some of them are external – e.g. a stubborn numb-nut won’t let you run your ads the way you want, and some of them internal – the situations when YOU are the problem and there’s nobody else there to take the blame.

The external obstacles can be very different and it’s hard to give a magic-pill solution for those. However, the internal ones usually repeat themselves over time. I mean things like: lack of confidence, fear, lack of eloquence, “I’m not worthy enough”, “I can’t take it”, the what-ifs, “I’m gonna go to jail for that” – kinda thing. The internal ones are usually relatively easy to overcome once you’re drunk.

And let’s get one thing clear, I’m not telling you to get drunk, I just want to point out that if alcohol can solve a problem then it’s probably not really a problem.

All you have to do is ask yourself the question “would it be a problem if I were drunk?” and if the answer is “no” then just do the damn thing you wanted to do and don’t be afraid.

Just to give you a hint on what kind of problems I have in mind here’s a list of the most common things alcohol can “help you” with.

Bad mood

The first biggie. Why people can’t imagine a party without a drink? They believe that alcohol puts them in a good mood. Good or bad mood is nothing else than a temporary state of mind. If alcohol can change it then I’m sure you can do it yourself, without it.

Trust me, I know. Bad mood can prevent you from doing any type of work. Especially the kind of work that requires some creativity and outside-the-box approach. And marketing is that kind of work.

If you notice some bad mood clouds over your head just try to remain focused and work as if you were friggin’ happiest you’ve ever been. A slight change in your mindset can result in massive improvement of your results. Everything starts in our mind, and all you have to do is take the first step.

Good mood is not something that happens to you, it’s something you can create yourself, with or without a drink, your choice.


You’re tense. Don’t know what to do next. There are so many things. Just thinking about them makes you sick. You feel like having beer and forgetting about all of that for a second.

Tension is yet another thing our mind brings upon us. It probably does it to motivate us to take some kind of action. The only problem is that sometimes it backfires because if there’s too much tension, we don’t feel like taking action, we feel like forgetting.

Alcohol is not bad for fighting tension. It tricks our mind so the tension disappears. However, this is yet another thing we can deal with on our own without any liquid help.

You have to create a marketing campaign? And another one? And prepare some materials for affiliates? And all of these have to be done by midnight? Just calm down. Start with the first thing on the list and forget about the rest. Once you’re done with it, move to the next one, then to another one. Until you have nothing else to do.

Remember, don’t try to tackle every task all at once! Multitasking lowers your IQ more than smoking weed (scientifically proven fact).

Lack of confidence

“Am I worthy enough?”

Yes you are! Period. Out of all questions this is the one you shouldn’t ever be asking. You don’t need alcohol to reach this conclusion.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t either way you are right.” -Henry Ford

If you feel like offering partnership to some big fish in your market, do it! If you think you have a post that would work well on ProBlogger, just send it to Darren! If you sense that your product can change people’s lives, tell it to them!

Poor eloquence

Drunken mouth speaks what sober mind thinks.

Can’t remember who am I quoting here (I’m almost finishing my beer, you see).

What I’m trying to say is that you already have the words in you. You just have to draw them to the surface.

You can write whatever pitch you like. You can sell to whomever you like. You can act as if you were the friggin’ king of snake oil salesmen. Just reach deep down and get those words flowing.

Fear and asking too many what-ifs

I am afraid of many things, we all are. We ask too many what-ifs as well. What if I get fired? What if they refuse to do business with me? What if they start laughing at me? I’m scared, should I do this?

Here’s one way: Have a drink, forget about fear, and do it.

Here’s another, more conscious way: Acknowledge the fear. Understand it, and where it comes from. Where does it lead you to. Feel it. Accept it. Realize what’s the worst that could happen. And then just f*** it and do it anyway.

For example. Don’t be afraid to lose some readers by asking for money. If you starve to death you will lose all of them anyway. Don’t ask what if you get turned down by a big-shot blogger. The best way of figuring out what would happen is by doing it.

Too many different things running loose in your mind

Having too many ideas at once is no better than having none. That’s because you can’t put them all into practice at the same time. And an idea without action is nothing more than a dream.

And if all these things running through your mind are not ideas but worries of some kind … well, I think we’ve covered that already.

Just get yourself together. Stop thinking about all these things. Focus on one and take action. Forget about the rest. If they are as brilliant as you may think, they will come back eventually.

Just relax. Breathe. Focus on one, jot down or forget the others.

Being too much of a nice guy

You didn’t expect that, did you? Nowadays everyone tells you to be the super-nice guy. To be the bigger man. To be happy when you get slapped.

In most cases this is essentially the truth. Showing that you’re the bigger man usually pays off.

But sometimes you have to stand your ground and slap back. Be nice, but don’t ever be the whipping boy. People should know that once things get rough you can give a punch as well.

I’m sure you agree that marketing can be rough. There’s always that competitor who wants to put you out of business. Or that other competitor who’s always copying your campaigns, like every single one of them. Be nice when it’s time to be nice. Be assertive when it’s time to show that you’re not the one to f*** with.

Positive aggression – I like to call it. Something that can’t be achieved with alcohol. Alcohol brings only regular aggression which is never the good solution.

For my final words as I’m out of beer…

Create your own alcohol

…don’t take it literally though (or do, and send some to me).

It’s just your mind trying to trick you that you can’t do something, that you don’t know how to say something, that you don’t have the best idea for this new upcoming campaign. Fight it. Every time you feel like there’s a problem just think what you would do if you were a little drunk. Sometimes it’s enough to solve it.

What is your favorite way of fighting issues similar to those I described in this post? Do you see any immediate applications of create-your-own-alcohol approach to your current online business efforts?

One comment

  1. Milan @zoufal.net

    Milan @zoufal.net

    Hi Karol, thanks for your article.

    I also used the “let’s open a beer” move more than once, especially while writing text, with mixed success. I like your “create your own alcohol” advice. Let’s see how that goes.

    best regards

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